Lessons from Life 2009

2009 began normally for others, while I recovered from experiences in 2008. The first three months were full of brutal flashbacks of the last year repeatedly appearing in my dreams. My mother suddenly fell sick in the month of April and was drained of energy to a substantial extent. Probably the tensions of 2008 had taken a lot from her. My mother has had severe bouts of asthma before and had very bravely handled herself while my father was sick in 1995 and 2006. This was probably for the first time I experienced the “tigress” going weak and saying “I cannot take it any more.” This was also probably for the first time that I was unable to attend a critical situation in the family owing to my academic pressures. My mother was hospitalized two times within a month. I finally decided to take leave and go see her for a week.

I had the opportunity of visiting Delhi two times in this year and had mixed experiences. Interacting with colleagues and students from IIT Delhi was an exciting one as we chatted on areas of mutual interest and comparing our “bulla” sessions and facilities with theirs. In this connection, I would like to mention the names of two very motivated students of our institute Veerender and Alok, who sort of kept on pushing Susham and me to interact with people from the industry and defence. I also remember taking the risk of missing the train to meet Soumita, who is very actively working in the area of social issues.

I have always remembered that my father had told me how he had worked hard to study. He used to wake up early in the morning, light a lantern and study. When the sun rose, daily household chores were handed to him. It must have been very difficult to live along with these chores then, as the economic conditions were not pretty favourable then. He had always tried to give his two sons the best of the education possible and that he could afford, while he never compromised upon his principles. During the riots of 1984, he played an active role in saving one of our neighbours. I have always been very proud of my father for his standards regarding work and society. Unfortunately, on the fourth day of August in 2009, I helplessly saw the “Royal Bengal Tiger” succumb to his conditions of a severe kidney failure. My father must have loved me very much, for he still appears in my dreams, smiling, hale and hearty, and indirectly inspiring me.

Shortly after my father's death, my mother suffered a silent cardiac attack. With all the might possible, we brothers prayed for her health, while we planned to shift from our home town, Jabalpur. Had it not been for the support from S. K. Bannerjee, Mr. K. Mukherjee and Raju Bhaiyaa, we would have been reeling under severe pressure. The month of August was further unfortunate as my mother's uncle also passed away after falling down and staying two days in the hospital at Kolkata. In this condition, it became severely difficult for us to communicate about my father's death and mother's ill health to my maternal grandfather. It still is.

Dr. Bharat Lohani and Professor Onkar Dikshit, help me get back to my feet after these incidents. Had it not been for their kind words, I would have been still having the brutal flashbacks.

This year, I got back in touch with many of my schoolmates. I was particularly getting jealous of my younger brother owing to the advantage, in terms of technology, he had in keeping up with his peer group. It was a nice experience chatting with old friends with the same vengeance as in school days, albeit with a better sense of humour.

I have had many good news this year as well. Moumita and Susham had a baby in the month of August. Shweta and Ray Mitten are expecting their baby sometime soon in 2010. The same is the case with Nathalie and Roger Goodall, from the Goodall family with whom I had the chance to stay while I was in France, and have kept in touch with me.

My research colleagues from the institute and group friends Nirmali Goswami and Bhavna Bhalla got their respective appointments as teachers. It has always been nice to chat, argue and quarrel on specific points on areas of common interest with these people. I wish them a very fruitful career ahead.

The morning of the first day in this year was cloudy, foggy and cold. However, as the sun rises further in the sky and the sunshine, smiles and warmth spread, I wish you all the best for your journey through this year. Times would be peaceful, sometimes they might be turbulent as well, but I wish that you find God with you always by your side.

2008: The year of the Good People

It is quite rare, when all the good people meet you in a year of time and when one feels that he is a part of a divine conspiracy when all the tides are turning against him.

The year began with preparations for a short term GIS workshop for the officers from Archaeological Survey of India. For more than a week, we interacted with people from that organisation who wanted to make a difference in presenting the vast repository of Indian heritage to the world. Young or old, age did not seem to deter them away either from their determination or their goal.

An international school for training experts in the asian region on my research area was next in line. Getting slides ready, preparation of course material, were all being done simultaneously. Two of the eminent experts in this field namely Professor Emmanuel Baltsavias and Dr. Norbert Pfeifer were also present in this workshop as ressource persons. Our group made a consolidated effort in carrying the flag of the institute forward. In this connection, I met Gautam after 5 years, who is one of my best research colleagues in the field of Geoinformatics. I also happened to meet Dr. Rashi Agarwal, Head of the Department, UIET, CSJM Kanpur, who became interested in the domain of LiDAR technology after this workshop and interacting with the GI Group.

Though being saved from the brunt of summer in Kanpur, I had to move to south India for a long time following a personal crisis. While my supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani, was compassionate and empathised with the situation, Dr. Onkar Dikshit and Dr. Ashu Jain provided emotional support as well as helped with the institutional formalities. Rakesh Mishra was kind hearted to recharge my mobile everytime I needed it.

I met Dr. Nagarajan, one of the eminent scientists of India, and his wife Mrs Mangala Nagarajan at Kalpakkam who along with the cooperation of Dr. Sivaraman, Mr. Venkatesh and equally exuberant youth like Prashant, Hiren, Kumaresan, Madhavan, Swati helped and made me smile through the period of my crisis. In fact if I have to list out the number of people who helped me, perhaps I would end up writing a number of pages. Ms Seema Deogam, one of my classmates during my stay at Indian Institute of Remote Sensing, Dehradun, often called me up and calmed me down.

My father dislocated his wrist and damaged his knee cap at the same time in the month of August while I was at Chennai. My mother had to take lead in helping the family handle cope up with the crisis. Mr Venkat, who is one of our former neighbours at Jabalpur and Sriraj Nair, one of my younger brother's classmates took turns to help my father at the hospital. It was too bad that all this had to happen just at the time when my father had to retire from his long service to the Indian government.

The month of October, with the grace of God, saw me relieved from the crisis and I finally returned to Kanpur. It took more than a month to settle down back into the environment and at the same time, I made good friends like Bhavna Bhalla and Saurabh who were part of the counselling service team. The « chemical canteen » often saw me discussing PhD research with them.

Amandine, our french teacher last year, and I became friends too. At the same time she chose to come back to India and take classes at NIT Warangal. Eugenie has found her « dieu italien » and is happily leading a new life. Sadly, Clementine and Kate, were caught amidst the firing in Mumbai and hurt themselves badly. Yet, Clementine plans to come back to India to complete her assignment.

As the year ends, and I look back at the events that passed through the year, my belief becomes stronger that God exists and however hard the situation be, He makes sure that the believers in Him are happy. I have, lately thus, started studying the religion.

I wish you Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year ahead.

Feminism vs. Pornography: An amateurish look on contemporary feminine politics

Sociological scholars have termed feminism and politics in the western context as too ambiguous and difficult to define. A very crude definition of feminism could be “The recognition that, virtually across time and place, men and women are unequal in the power that they have, either in the society or over their own lives, and the corollary belief that men and women should be equal; the belief that knowledge has been written about by and for men and the corollary belief that all school of knowledge be re-examined and understood to reveal the extent to which they ignore or distort gender” [1].

Since the beginning of the concept of Feminism in the early 17th century, it has undergone major changes in its philosophy. The first wave dealt with the voting rights of women, the second wave with the inequalities of laws and culture, and the third wave was the continuation of the second wave and deals with the perceived failures of the second wave as well. Feminists often differ in opinion over the sources of inequality, how to attain equality, and the extent to which gender and gender-based identities should be questioned and critiqued. Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign for a woman's right to bodily integrity and autonomy on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care; for protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape; for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; and against other forms of discrimination.

As described in Encyclopaedia Brittanica, the word pornography is derived from Greek words pornè (prostitute) and graphein (to write). Thus, pornography literally means any piece of work which describes the lifestyle and trade of prostitutes. It is to be added that by definition, pornographic works have no sense of aesthetics or art. On the other hand, erotica has been described in literature and dictionaries as more acceptable and egalitarian and is also considered to be artistic while causing sexual arousal in parallel. Sociological literature available in print and on web since the last decade of the previous century indicate that radical feminists have been discussing on the effects of pornographic literature on society in general and women in particular [1,2,3]. Kathleen Berry reiterates that “pornography no longer describes only the sexual activities between prostitutes and their customers. Sexual liberation has brought into the home many of the bizarre sexual activities that men have demanded of prostitutes. Pornography depicts not just what one can do with a whore but with one's lover, one's wife and even one's daughter. Through pornography, time honoured distinction of the society are now blurring and the gap is quickly closing between love and violence, madonnas and whores.”[4].

The feminist theory of pornography is derived from the feminist theory of sexuality; pornography reflects and reinforces the subordinating nature of male sexuality and power. More radical feminists construe male sexuality as predominantly, or even totally, subordinating, whereas less radical feminists draw distinctions between humanistic (egalitarian) and non-humanistic (subordinating) male sexuality as well violent and non-violent erotic variations. It is due to this duality of the understanding of feminism that events like sexual harassment at the workplace, pornography etc. have been a cause of prime concern for men as well women personally as well as politically.

Let us look at some scenarios/examples where we should agree with the feminists [5].

1. A teen sex movie clip wherein an eighteen year old Russian girl in the best of her clothing turns up for chatting up with two men. The men in turn use their camera to film her body and taking the brief chance to feel and play with the girl's twin assets. Subsequently, the other man undresses the girl, and then the two take turns in gratifying themselves almost simultaneously. While this description and the enactment of the scene would have aroused most of the men, it is to be noted that there was no feeling of pleasure on the face of the girl. I felt as if she was forced to be a part of the clip and as if she was silently crying inside herself while letting the two men enjoy her body.
   
   This film does many things together. It signifies that the teenage girl (from Russia) is of loose character or rather a prostitute, it objectifies the girl and also it could give a signal to the viewer that Russian girls are of similar nature. It is to be mentioned here that the same scenario is replayed in many clips wherein emotions and bodies of females from countries other the particular country where the clip was filmed, were played with. This could rather conclude that the females from the rest of the world are whores while that certain country enjoys.
   
   
2. A woman enters a bar and sees a man with a high class SLR camera, whose arms are full of tattoos. She asks the barman for a drink and some snacks and tries to chat with the man. The man however misbehaves with her and does not talk with her properly. A few minutes later the man leaves the bar. Another few minutes later, we see the girl at the man's place. The man asks the girl for an explanation as to why she was following him. She replies that she found the man attractive. A few minutes later we see that the woman is tied up, bound, gagged and naked. The man is enjoying himself hitting the woman as well as inserting objects into her private parts, while the woman shouts with a mix of pain and pleasure.
   
   This film indicates that women love pain. The stronger the man, the more the pain, the more the pleasure. This film clip could aggravate the cause of rape in the society forcing psycho criminals to believe what they saw in the clips. It could also indicate that sporting tattoos and earrings were cool whereas normally most of us would not find such a person attractive.

The effect of pornography on the lives of people raise many eyebrows. A friend of my acquaintance who lived in and loved India, was married to a non-resident Indian male. The NRI forced his wife to watch pornography, forced her to pose nude for the camera while clicking many indecent photographs of hers and further, he drew ultimate sexual pleasure in beating up the woman, causing permanent physical injury to her backbone. Although this is only a single instance in my knowledge, the sexual frustration of males must have caused similar troubles and problems everywhere. Mackinnon, like many other radical feminists maintains that pornography is harmful in itself, not only because it may trigger specific sexual violence or harmful attitudes; pornography also constitutes an ideal instrument of male domination that generates and reinforces subordination and discrimination against women in a broader systemic sense. [2]

“Sex” as a topic for discussion is considered as a taboo in India. Let us digress a bit and have a look on the outlook of the common Indian woman towards sex and related discussions. According to my survey made over the last few years on women, 98% of the internet chats seeking information on sexuality were responded with “Chhee! Kitni gandi baatein karte ho! Saare mard ek jaise hote hai (Gosh! What filthy talk! All males are equal!)”. But what does that mean? Don't women like the concept of sex? Or is it that the concept of sex is such a taboo in our country, that talking or discussing about sexuality would label women as whores? It is probably the third opinion which moves in everybody's minds. However, it was observed that if the words were “well framed”, the women would readily respond to the questions. This is well confirmed by a testimonial of a girl in Orkut, “...she likes adult jokes but only when presented in a nice way ...”

The curiosity of women towards sex, sexuality as well as pornography can be well established by evidences of my internet chats with several girls in their early twenties (assuming that they were females with whom I chatted). Some accepted the fact that they have watched pornographic clips and enjoyed self gratification whereas some just bypassed the question as if they did not read the sentence at all.

Suddhasheel Ghosh [6] graphically illustrates the fact with concrete examples that how women try to take personal and undue advantage of situations and use men. They also use their assets and other skill sets like tears, cajoling and scolding to the fullest advantage. For example one of my friends was on the train from Ranchi to Delhi. The train was late by 4 hours and it was midnight when the train halted at a remote station. A couple of rogue engineering college students started drumming the body of the train and woke everyone up. A newly married couple, who appeared to be college students as well, got inside the train along with lot of baggage. They were on the side seats. At half an hour past midnight they started discussing the administration of Windows XP without any concern for the other passengers. At around one o'clock, they thought that they should retire to the berths and hence started pushing their baggages under other people's seats except their own. My friend seriously objected to this. The girl approached my friend, started shouting at him and caught hold of his hand. My friend retorted by twisting her finger. The accompanying passengers started criticising the female for her indecent behaviour. The girl came up with her crocodile tears. In the morning, my friend was pulled out of the train at Allahabad station and beaten up for giving a bad name to the girl. On hearing the story and thinking about it again and again I have not been able to conclude as to whose fault it was inside the train. Many a female would sympathise with the girl, I certainly do not.

Although I agree to the fact that pornography is demeaning to women to a considerable degree, it does not necessarily categorise the male species appreciating pornography as devoid of humane qualities However, hardcore feminists have appeared to take political advantage of this. As mentioned earlier, they have labelled the male sexuality as subordinating. Males can always opine that actresses in the porn industry are highly paid, well respected and therefore their conscience is clear. It however seems here that the context in which the feminists argue, is more biblical (watching is as good as endorsing it!). They would also add that working in a porn industry may have been the last choice for the actors.

It isn't very surprising to observe that feminists have not been able to establish unanimity over the possibility of achieving equal sexual relations. The more radical the theory, the less sanguine the assessment. According to Andrea Dworkin, “terror issues from the male, illuminates his essential nature and his basic purpose.”[2] However radical the feminists may turn out, they have not been able to establish basic guidelines on having equal sexual relationships. As a result, women would continue to take advantage of men politically and personally as the need arises thus labelling men as dominating physically and sexually. We men, yes the poor men, would continue to suffer the brunt of radical feminists along with the heat of global warming.

1. Arneil, Barbara (1999), Politics and Feminism: An introduction, Blackwell Publishing
2. Downs, Donald Alexander (1989), The new politics of pornography, University of Chicago Press
3. Juffer, Jane (1998), At home with pornography: Women, Sex and everyday life, NYU Press
4. Berry, Kathleen (1984), Female sexual slavery, NYU Press.
5. Slade, Joseph W. (2000), Pornography and sexual representation: A reference guide, Greenwood Publishing Group
6. Ghosh, Suddhasheel (2007), Women's liberty: Is it how we think about it – I?, http://shudh.blogspot.com/2007/08/womens-liberty-is-it-how-we-think-about.html
   

An Inspirational 2007

With 2007, going away and the new year arriving, I am keen to look back at things that I have learned and achieved. It would also be important to look at the contributions of people to my life and people who have inspired me to march ahead this year, in spite of the difficulties.

The month of January found me in Hyderabad at the Map World Forum, a group to showcase the latest developments in the field of Geoinformatics, be it in terms of technology or research. I did make a few friends and got back in touch with Sonal and her husband Mrityunjay, Dr. Parth Sarathi Roy and Harish Karnatak. Sonal and I were colleagues in 2000 and it was nice to see her seven years later. I also met Shubha, her little kid and she was quite friendly after the initial shyness which every child shows after encountering a stranger. I also had a visit to Harish's residence only to find out that he was getting ready to settle into a blissful married life. I could not however visit Dr. Roy and his family as I was getting late for the departure back to Kanpur. It was nice to catch up with old friends and get back to the old times when we worked, laughed, quarrelled and discussed together.

I completed my second year of French lessons this year. Thanks to Eugénie Duthoit, she made it quite comfortable for us to learn advanced French. She also inspired us to go ahead for DELF and DALF and also offered to train us for the same. Eugénie silently went back to France via Delhi in the wee hours of the morning one day. I had purchased a gift for her, but was not able to hand it over to her. Later, I found her as a good person discussing life on the internet over chat (We changed from vous to tu). Eugénie has also written a blog describing her experiences on her visit to India.

My supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani has kept on pushing me for performance throughout this year. With his support I registered my name for a conference in Germany. It was to be my first international conference. I took this chance to meet the scientists and researchers working in my direction of research and gained from their experiences. Interestingly Dr. Lohani went on to attend other conferences in Austria and Switzerland and those papers won prizes.

Prof. Onkar Dikshit has been quite supportive for all the years that I have stayed at IIT Kanpur. In fact, when I took up the course Engineering Drawing for my Teaching Assistantship, he supplied me with study and support material for the programme. Although time consuming, this was one of the best Teaching Assistantship experiences I had in IIT Kanpur. In addition to the learning I had, I also got the time to interact professionally with Dr. Amit Prashant and Dr. Sarvesh Chandra.

I took up to learning German in the new semester. Although quite different from French, I am having a nice time learning it owing to my classmates whom I tease often during the class. This semester also saw Eugénie revisiting India for bidding a goodbye to her friends. She also introduced me to Amandine Almarcha, a sweet, smiling, chirpy and crazy French girl, who is here to teach advanced French. On every weekend, Amandine, I and some of our earlier classmates of the French language, meet over a cup of tea and a few snacks to discuss French culture, politics and practices.

In the month of November, I had a visit to Ahmedabad for another conference on the visualization of geographic data. In the process I had the opportunity to taste real Gujarati food at Rajwadu. Based on a theme of an original Gujarati mansion, the experience was full with Gujarati cuisine and music. Home made butter, missi roti and the other mithais still make my mouth water. It was also an opportunity to meet people who worked earlier at Indian Institute of Remote Sensing, Dehradun and catch up again with the old times.

This December, I got a mail from Mrs. and Mr. GOODALL (people whom I stayed with as a paying guest at St. Jean de Brayé at 2003) regarding their visit in February 2008 to the north-western parts of India. I do feel quite excited and maybe we could meet sometime.

Culturally, this year was very fruitful. We had a delight watching and listening to people to the likes of Ustad Abdul Rashid Khan (99 yrs old!), Guru Jayarama Rao and Vanashree Rao, Ms Sunanda Sharma, Pt Biswajit Chowdhury and Mrs Shubha Mudgal, with the help of a group called SPIC-MACAY (Society for the Promotion of Indian Classical Music and Culture Amongst Youth).

Lastly, this was also a year for goodbyes. My dida (naani) left this world for the heavenly abode. She was in bed for long and had suffered a lot during her lifetime owing to her illness. Naani loved me a lot. But I hope she has reached the heavenly abode and is in no more pain. Baramaima's elder brother left this world too. I bid goodbyes to people as well, and decided to march ahead, looking for new horizons.

Over and all, this year was inspirational and I am here looking ahead for the sun to arise on the morning of the new year.

A merry Christmas and a happy new year, 2008 to all!

Suddhasheel GHOSH

Women’s Liberty: Is it how we think about it? - I

Poets, writers and various other artists have presented the condition of women in their creations. Women have been oppressed in many walks of the society. The renowned poet Maithili Sharan Gupt wrote

अबला जीवन तुम्हारी यही कहानी
आंचल में है दूध आंखों में पानी

(O Women, your story of life is all the same, there's milk in your breasts and tears in your eyes). However, in contrast, the women of today believe that they are liberal-minded; they have the right to do what men do and of course move shoulder to shoulder with men. However, it is important to see whether they are moving together or aspire to take away the reins from men and rule the world. The men today have many boyish questions: What is the practical representation or interpretation of women’s liberty: partying, smoking, boozing, drugs or indiscriminate sexual behavior or is it just the liberty of mind or a philosophy that is being talked about?

On the 60th day of Independence of India, and after many stalwarts like Mrs Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi and most recently Ms Mayawati and Mrs Pratibha Patil, it is time to look back and see whether women in India have understood the true meaning of freedom or otherwise. This article is not targeted to demean the status of the woman in any sense, however, it is definitely targeted to show how the sense of freedom has been interpreted in today’s context.

Feminism what we know today has undergone major changes in its philosophy, since it began in the early 20th century. The first wave of feminism dealt with the voting rights of women, the second wave with the inequalities of laws and culture, and the third wave was the continuation of the second wave and also deals with the perceived failures of the second wave. Feminists often differ in opinion over the sources of inequality, how to attain equality, and the extent to which gender and gender-based identities should be questioned and critiqued. Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign for a woman's right to bodily integrity and autonomy on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care; for protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape; for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; and against other forms of discrimination.

The hue and cry about sexual harassment in the workplace arose when Anita Hill, a law professor at the University of Oklahama alleged that Clarence Thomas, with whom she had worked, while he was the head of the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission, has sexually harassed her with inappropriate discussions of sexual acts and pornographic acts after she refused his offer to date him (1991). An instantaneous wave of sympathy went in favour of Anita Hill in America. However, if we study the timing of the allegation, it raises our eyebrows. In 1991, Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American to be appointed to the United States Supreme Court, decided to retire. The then president of America, George Bush, saw this as an opportunity to appoint a more conservative judge to the Supreme Court. He thus appointed Clarence Thomas, a forty-three year old, conservative, African-American from Pinpoint, Georgia. Thomas would maintain the racial makeup of the Court, yet would add another conservative voice on decisions involving Affirmative Action and abortion. Thomas’ nomination sent a panic wave throughout the women’s activist organizations and they were immediately worried that Thomas would rule against legal abortion as well as Affirmative Action. Thomas was then thoroughly interviewed by the Senate committee and he was specifically asked about his opinion on Affirmative Action. Thomas mentioned that he hadn’t formed an opinion till then. The voting process in the Senate committee was split seven-to-seven. His nomination was therefore forwarded to the Senate, without a clear recommendation. It was at this point of time, when Anita Hill appeared in the whole scenario. Thomas vociferously denied all the allegations and during the hearings, called the process as “a high-tech lynching for uppity blacks.” Thomas, after a few deliberations, was appointed associate judge in the Supreme Court. As a follow up to this case, rigid lines on sexual harassment at the work place were drawn, as many other women started complaining of similar behavior from their male colleagues. Men were actually worried that they could face legal hassles even if they appreciated the looks of a fellow female colleague.

Another remarkable incident in the same land was that of Bill Clinton and Monika Lewinsky. The story of Bill Clinton seeking sexual gratification from Monika was brought to light just a few months after Bill Clinton assumed his second term in office as President of the United States of America. It was said that Monika had confided about her sexual exploits with Clinton to another lady named Linda Tripp who had secretly taped telephonic conversations and released it to the press. The literatures on the internet suggest that Linda’s records in the White House were against her and she played a game to set the records straight with the US government. In this case, the last words of Monika after her interrogation were “I hate Linda Tripp”.

Could we establish a pattern here? Was it that Monika was planted in the White House as an intern? Was it that Anita Hill was a pawn of some other force? It appears from these events that these efforts by women were not only to gain political mileage but also to gain some advantage in kind.

Let us leave the stories which have happened in America and come to India. I was chatting with a female in the Yahoo Chat rooms and mentioned to her that I was doing intensive research on female behavior as a personal hobby. She expressed a genuine interest in the same. I mentioned to her that as a result of my research, males would stop teasing females. She was very happy. I further mentioned that boys would even stop looking at females. She quipped “Nahi yaar tab to mushkil ho jaayegi (No dear, that would be a great problem)”.

The Indian female population of today uses the address “Bhaiya (Elder Brother)” for just anybody, whether it is the gardener, the sweeper, the street urchin or a classmate. Although looked at in a very positive attitude by the elder population, does this have very good effects on the society? I illustrate this with the following examples:

a. One of my friends, who was working in a central government organization had a female colleague who had had a major accident leading to a compound fracture. While she was recuperating from the accident, he was responsible for helping the colleague with the academics, getting regular fruits and medicines and even washing clothes. During this period the girl started calling him “Bhaiya”. At every small break after work, the boy would find some time to visit the girl in the room and talk to her; sometimes even lending her his shoulder while she cried occasionally in her loneliness remembering her boyfriend and parents. When the girl substantially recovered, and put her first step on the ground without her crutches, he was very happy that day. Surprisingly within the next few days he came to know, that the girl had complained of sexual harassment against the boy to the administration. The boy was subsequently devastated emotionally and professionally.

b. Another instance, of one of my friends who was working in a university in Bhopal about 7 years back is very interesting. A female colleague often called him “Bhaiya”. One day, when some joke session was going on, the boy put his arms around the girls shoulders. The girl reacted sharply. “Haath hataao! Yeh koi tarikaa hai? (Remove it! Do you know what you are doing?)” The boy was stunned. He replied, “Arey tum to mujhe bhaiya bolti ho. Usi rishte se to maine aisa kiya thaa! (But I thought you think about me as an elder brother. It is therefore I do it)”. “Accha behan samajh ke kiya thaa. Tab theek hai! (Oh! It's OK if you thought of me as your sister” replied the girl!

Can we say that a common Indian woman uses the word “Bhaiya” as a cosmetic? Is it self defense? Or is it that she calls somebody Bhaiya to tell him that you are not the Mr. Right for her?

A female student of a popular engineering college (unfortunately she belongs to my home town) once suggested to her junior that if there was any problem in her thesis, and she was not able to write some of the codes in MATLAB and C, she should indulge in some sweet talking with boys and her problems would be solved. In another scenario, senior girl students of a college advised their female juniors not to wear a bra for their viva-voce examinations, so that their nipples protruding from their dresses could earn them some good marks. In a country, where bridges are falling down every now and then, roads lose their load bearing capacities and potholes appear, students graduating with no problem solving ability would further aggravate the issue.

I was reading a recent copy of a popular computer magazine, which actually highlights technology and developments in the IT industry. In the “LETTERS” section, one of the readers had complained that the magazine had no business designing a cover with a young girl showing ample cleavage and sitting with a laptop. Although the editor dismissed the complaint of the reader with ease saying that the cover related technology with casual nature, it is apparent what the motto of the design was; to get more males to buy a copy of the magazine whether they read it or not. It appears like the motto of adult magazines like Fun and Fantasy, only the girl is wearing some dress. Can we establish a pattern here? Can we say that the women are still allowing themselves to be used and that they are happy doing so, till they are paid?

I have been intensely doing some studies on women and have been interacting with and interviewing many women relating this topic. An interesting response came from one of ladies travelling along with me from Delhi. I asked what “women’s liberty” meant to her. She responded “Equality with males and the freedom to choose my own partner”. “Hmmmm...” I thought and asked myself, “Do I have that freedom?” I have talked to many males in IIT Kanpur, and they said that they did not have the freedom to choose their own partner, and that their parents would kick them out of the household if they did so. I asked one my research colleagues to pose this question to his wife. Her response was “This question is irrelevant in the Indian context. Indian women are not clear about it”. I could not help but agree. Indian women who claim to be liberal, show equally “girlish” qualities as their other friends do. They use the same techniques and tools when they need to get their work done, get a free ride or get a bus pass without sufficient documents. I am reminded of a very famous film ‘Erin Brockovich’ starring Julia Roberts. I place a quote here:

Ed Masry: What makes you think you can just walk in there and take whatever you want?
Erin Brockovich: They're called boobs, Ed.

Note by the author: Women’s Liberty is a very big concept. It has not been understood properly by the Indians. I would appreciate if readers bring more positive issues to this concept. Please send your brickbats and feedback

A tennis match: France and India - Roubaix and Kanpur

When I lived in Dehradun earlier, and it rained cats and dogs, I often joked that what would happen if we say "Hey Bhagwaan, roko ise! (Oh god stop it!)". Perhaps, god would give us a message, "Kya karoon yaar control hi nahi hotaa! (What can I do my friend, I can't control it!)"

Kanpur, a city in which I have been living for the past three years, is troubled by extremities. Heat, cold and rain.

Make some dough with wheat atta (farine de blé) and put some yeast into it. Keep it for sometime .... Put it in the oven ... what do you get? Bread ... In Kanpur, you would probably save the cost of the oven in the summers. You would perhaps bake the loaf of bread even by putting it in sunlight.

Winters are equally horrible. When the Uparwallah (Le Dieu) decides to deep freeze us, answering nature's call is a terror and a task to be apprehensive of.

Come rains, and you have your rooms full of a hundred ... rather a thousand ... varieties of insects. Insects of all shapes, colors and sizes, which you might only have probably seen in your worst dreams, appear. We have fluorescent tubelights in our rooms and these attract the insects... large ones ... Ok, I decide to switch off the tubelight. After five minutes, there are creatures moving on you computer screen, and you think something is wrong with your eyes! You decide to turn off the screen as well. There are small insects biting you while you make honest attempts to sleep.

This year, rains have played a hide and seek with Kanpur. It rained once in May, and then it did not. For the past few days, it has been only humidity and no precipitation. The only things melting are seen to be human beings, who, out in the sun, sweat out more water than they drink.
It was just day before yesterday, when I was talking with a french friend of mine who lives in a city called Roubaix, and complaining about how the rains had cheated Kanpur, while it had been raining in nearby areas. She offered to send the clouds to Kanpur! I joked "Tu a fait le magic! La pluie est arrivée! (You have done the magic ... the rains have arrived)" The joke turned fortunately true after two hours. Kanpurites were happier! Today, she said that the clouds and the rain had moved away from Roubaix.

"On peut jouer au tennis avec les nuages. Tu es prête? (We can play tennis with the clouds. Are you ready?)", I asked her. "On peut utiliser les nuages comme les balles de tennis (We could use the clouds as tennis balls)!" The match has started ... let us wait for the results.

Hope, we could make rains happen and spread happiness to people.

Note: For a more poetic version (French) visit De Roubaix à Kanpur ... histoire des nuages written by the friend who lives at Roubaix.

Virginity, Dignity, Opportunity and Publicity

The year before last, I saw a caption on a T-shirt, “Virginity is not dignity, but a lack of opportunity”. Last week, in the Kanpur Times supplement of The Times of India, a Bhojpuri artist has proudly remarked – “I have had many conquests”, referring to the relationships with the women in his life. The use of the word “conquest” was, in my opinion, in bad taste and therefore in this article, I present a chauvinistic male’s perspective on the issue.

I have been a voracious user of the internet and its various utilities including chat, email, voice and video conferencing. One of my hobbies is to observe people deeply and to classify various people into many categories. The list of categories of people has been increasing by leaps and bounds over the last 10 years, since I started interacting with people of the world outside my home. My initial registration on the internet initially was on the Microsoft Chat client on Windows 95, which allowed me to connect to a host of chat servers on the world. Initially, my registration as a male user evoked a poor response. People would rarely respond to this poor boy who found 10 minutes of time to sneak into the room with an internet connection and establish a link with the chat servers. I thus bumped into an idea of registering myself as a female. Females have been generally accused of having a poor sense of humour. I, however, could not resist showing off mine. As a result there were a large number of people sending private messages and asking for my telephone number. I gave it to them … of course a fake one.

I subsequently registered myself as a user of Yahoo! Mail. Surprisingly enough, my profile got registered as a female and I was surprised by a large number of males asking me to cyber with them while I was in the Yahoo! Chat rooms. I was not pretty sure what cybering meant that time and therefore said yes to one of them. The next 10 minutes were really unforgettable. He started doing all kinds of things to me … virtually of course! I had to finally say that I was a simple male with no such intentions.

The exuberance and curiosity of youth soon got the better of me, and I found myself chatting with “girls” (Considering the fact that I had previously posed as a female, the alleged girls could well have been males) on all sorts of topics. Some girls refused to comment, some agreed and some said I was too curious. Interestingly enough, people who said I was too curious belonged mostly to the western countries. The confirmation to my previous sentence can be found in American Pie – Part I wherein the story revolves around a group of teenage students desperately making attempts to get sexually involved before their prom. Today, in 2007, Indian girls have also started giving a similar response (cf. Priyanka Chopra’s interview on the Sunday supplement of the Times of India a few months ago).

In real life, I have encountered some girls who had openly talked about their status (in the context of lost virginity) with unabashed abandon to anybody and everybody. On deeper research, it was found that they were speaking the truth indeed but were under the treatment of a psychologist or suffered from personality related disorders; owing to the fact that their families had problems and that they felt rather ignored in their childhood. In this connection, I would also like to mention the name of Tara (name changed) who was ready to get involved with a middle aged man 15 years her senior and a friend of her father, for her father had nearly beaten-up her ex-boyfriend. On deeper questioning she said that her parents were rarely at home and they were rarely able to talk or dine together.

Talking of males of today, and especially the Bhojpuri singer whom I quoted in the first paragraph, represent a case of distorted mentality and pseudo-socialistic attitude. If the same thing happens to a member of their own family, they would even go to the extent of gang-rape of a female family member, murder or other heinous crimes, the examples of which can be found in abundance in some of the states in India. It is often found that people who become famous without much of effort cannot handle the fame with ease and either resort to sexual exploits, booze or drugs (the examples from the west include George Michael, Michael Jackson, Robby Williams, Dieogo Maradona, Mike Tyson, Mel Gibson et al.) Similar examples could easily be found in the Indian community although I would restrain myself from naming them.

However, let us come down to the common man: a closer example from an ex-resident in one of the halls in this institute. One fine morning, boasting around in the corridor with a loud voice about his transition. A closer study and observation on this friend of ours lead to the fact that he was craving for attention, and was being vociferous to let yours truly know about it, for he rarely talked to him. When I was working in a university, I had two female assistants as data entry operators, and I was questioned daily as to whom I was able to entice. A female friend of mine regularly faces queries regarding her male guests from her colleagues family living 30 -40 meters away from her home in her neighbourhood. If the reply is not satisfactory, the colleague is instrumental enough people cook up stories about her in the office premises. The colleague makes such efforts as my female friend turned away his advances once upon a time.

The typical Indian female, as I have observed, is generally expected to be shy, homely, fair, and intelligent and not have fantasies when on the other hand the typical Indian male spends precious time pleasing himself to the western graphic depictions of indulgent and exaggerated behaviour available for purchase/rent at many CD shops. The presence of a similar content, if traced at an IP which belongs to the female counterparts becomes the story of the day, the week or perhaps even months. Contemplation also begins as to how the fort maybe captured, whereas in real life, the person does not even have the courage to go ahead and talk.

We are walking in the midst of a conceptual change. The American thought process is getting into our blood which is the cause of more mentally imbalanced children. Single parenting, troubled marriages, divorces which start from the mere ego clashes of the proud male and the supposedly intelligent female, come down to the children who find solace in the arms of drugs and paedophiles. Lured into sexual relationships, these children can do nothing else but feel proud and boast about their lost virginity. It reminds me of the famous story of the fox, who lost his tail and then inspired others to cut their tails off.

Readers! Your status of virginity or your girlfriend is not my business. Keep it to yourself, be happy and let me be not so frustrated!