Goodbyes and Hellos - 2013

My year began with a goodbye to my Hall of Residence Four at IIT Kanpur. I had stayed there for eight long years and more. I definitely had my share of learnings, in  terms of building a progressive society, motivating people and more. I made good friends too, from the very famous Tony Jacob to the very humble Vivek Mehta. It has been a privilege knowing them. I might have left the Hall, but its memories remain etched in my mind. 

My supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani insisted that I take the opportunity to deliver an invited lecture at Dr. Babasaheb Marathwada University Aurangabad. The visit to Aurangabad was a lesson in how humble beginnings might lead to great achievements. Dr. Suresh Mehrotra's amazingly inspirational way of motivating people left me astounded. At the same time, meeting Dr. Pravin Yannawar, Dr. Ramesh Manza and Dr. Bharti Gawali Rokade were indicators that I should put in more efforts in my research work and publications. 

MGM's Jawaharlal Nehru Engineering College, Aurangabad

My visit to Aurangabad and a probing question by Dr. Suresh Mehrotra - "If all good people went to `good' places, who will come to the place which are not `good'?" motivated me to start a conversation with a college of Aurangabad. I came for a visit to Jawaharlal Nehru Engineering College and was floored by the welcoming nature of the Principal Dr. Sudhir Deshmukh, his motivated talks and willingness to develop the college further into an institute of national repute. My meetings with Dr. Sanjay Harke, Dr. Ravindra Deshmukh and Dr. Abhay Kulkarni were enlightening. I was especially impressed by the infrastructure developed by MGM - IBT, where Dr. Sanjay Harke is the Director.

With Shitla Tripathi ji

With Ram Kewal Maurya ji

I finally had a chance to take a degree at the convocation, the previous one's being either mailed to my place of residence, or being brought in by a third person. Instead of partying around, I chose to spend time with Shitla Prasad Tripathi ji and Ram Kewal Maurya ji. If I have gained a lot from my fellow research workers, I have also learnt a lot from Tripathi ji and Maurya ji. For each and every technical problem of mine. They were a great help.


Remember Narayan dada, the one about whom I talked about in my blog last year? I saw him frail and shaking. When I saw him, he got down from the cycle, and told me that he was diagnosed with a cancerous growth in his throat. It was surprising that all through his trauma, he had been looking for me for support, and people had been telling him that I had left the campus. I talked about his condition to the residents of Hall Four and most of them went to see him. Some even called him from outside the campus.

A scene at the CC Canteen @ IITK

The month of August began with a goodbye, with me bidding adieu to the city I spent nine precious years in, Kanpur. There were small meetings with Prof. Onkar Dikshit, the person who supported me a lot, morally and financially, and my thesis supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani. Dr. Nandini Nilakantan also invited me for a luncheon at the Campus Restaurant. 

Arun Nishad, your help for packing up my things was one of the greatest helps that I would remember. On the day of bidding goodbye to the campus, it was raining, and I, perhaps inspired by the clouds, shed a tear or two, in the moments of loneliness that I found on the railway platform. I was en route to Chennai then, and met a lady Tarzan during the journey! 

The next few days went away like a breeze, and I entered Aurangabad. A small and dusty city yet to learn the values of maintenance and cleanliness, but yet consisted of people with big hearts. Sachin Deshmukh helped me to find a place of stay, and Prahlad Pawar ji was kind enough to rent me the place. 

I taught two courses this year. Teaching mathematics to the students with no mathematical background was one of the challenges that I took. The results would say if I was successful, which are yet to come as I write this document. 

The end of year enlightened me with an emergent thought. The expression of "Independence" is expected to arrive with a feeling of an exclamation mark, but instead in many of us, it exists with a question mark in terms of daily life - common feelings like hunger, love, sadness, sleep, thought are well affected by this question mark.

With a desire that you are able to convert this question mark into an exclamation in the coming days, I wish you a very happy new year.

हिंदी रूपांतर 

भारतीय प्रौद्योगिकी संस्थान के चतुर्थ छात्रावास को अलविदा कहने से मेरा यह वर्ष शुरू हुआ।  अनेकों झगड़े, रात भर का जागना और दोस्ती इन्ही सब की यादें समेटकर मैंने हॉल ४ को अलविदा कहा। हॉल ४ में रहने के दौरान अनेकों से मेरा परिचय हुआ जैसे विख्यात टोनी जेकब और विनयशील विवेक मेहता।  हॉल ४ से मैंने कई चीज़ें सीखीं और आशा है कि इन सीखों को मैं अपने जीवन में उतार पाऊंगा।

मेरे पी एच डी के मार्गदर्शक डॉ भारत लोहनी ने मुझे डॉ बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर विद्यापीठ में जाकर व्याख्यान देने के लिए प्रेरित किया। यहाँ मैं प्रो सुरेश मेहरोत्रा से मिला। डॉ प्रवीण यन्नावर, डॉ रमेश मंझा और डॉ भारती रोकड़े से मिलकर ऐसा लगा कि मुझे अपने शोध कार्य में और अधिक मेहनत करनी चाहिए।

इस व्याख्यान के वजह से मेरी बातचीत औरंगाबाद के एक महाविद्यालय से होने लगी। डॉ सुरेश मेहरोत्रा ने पूछा कि " यदि हर अच्छा व्यक्ति "अच्छी" जगह पर जाए, तो हमारे यहाँ कौन आएगा?" अतः मैं पुनः औरंगाबाद आया। यहाँ, जवाहरलाल नेहरू इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज के प्रधानाचार्य डॉ सुधीर देशमुख से मिलकर बहुत अच्छा लगा।  वे इस महाविद्यालय को राष्ट्रीय स्तर के प्रसिद्ध शिक्षण संस्थानों कि गिनती में लाना चाहते थे।  इसके अतिरिक्त मैंने डॉ संजय हर्के, डॉ रविन्द्र देशमुख एवं डॉ अभय कुलकर्णी से भी मुलाकात कि।  जैवविज्ञानं और प्रौद्योगिकी संस्थान के आधुनिक प्रयोगशालाएं और कम्प्यूटेशनल शक्ति देखकर मैं दंग रह गया।  अतः मैंने जवाहरलाल नेहरू इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज कि ठानी।

आखिर वो वेला आ ही गयी जब मैंने किसी दीक्षांत समारोह में भाग लिया।  इससे पूर्व मेरे समस्त उपाधियों को में व्ययक्तिक तौर पर ले नहीं पाया था।  समारोह के उपरांत जहां लोग होटलों में जाकर खाना खाने कि योजना बना रहे थे, में शीतला प्रसाद त्रिपाठी जी और राम केवल मौर्या जी के साथ फ़ोटो खिचवा रहा था।

आपको नारायण दादा के बारे में याद है? उनके बारे में पिछले वर्ष मैंने लिखा था।  उनको मैंने बहुत कमज़ोर और शिथिल रूप में देखा। पूछने पर पता चला कि उन्हें वैद्य ने बताया है कि उन्हें कर्क रोग है।  उनका एक बार शल्य चिकित्सा हो चुका था।  उन्होंने बताया कि वे मेरे बारे में पूछते रहे और लोग उनको बताते रहे कि मैं आई आई टी परिसर छोड़कर चला गया हूँ।  मेरे पूर्व छात्रावास के लोगो को बताने पर कई उनसे परिसर के हेल्थ सेंटर में मिलने गए और उन्हें ढांढस बधाई।

अगस्त का महीना मेरे लिए कठिन रहा। जिस परिसर में मैंने ९ वर्ष बिताये उसे विदा कहने का समय आ गया था।  विदा लेने से पूर्व, प्रोफेसर ओंकार दीक्षित, जिन्होंने मुझे कई बार धैर्य बंधाई और आर्थिक सहायता भी दी, के आशीष वचन प्राप्त करने आवश्यक थे।  इसी के साथ मेरे पी एच डी के मार्गदर्शक डॉ भारत लोहनी से भी मार्गदर्शन प्राप्त किये।  डॉ नन्दिनी नीलकंठन ने भी मुझे मध्यान्ह भोज के लिए आमंत्रित किया।

श्री अरुण निषाद ने मेरे सामान को समेटने में जितनी मदद की उसकी प्रशंशा करने के लिए मेरे पास शब्द कम हैं।  आई आई टी परिसर को विदा कहने के दिन वर्षा हो रही थी, और सम्भवतः बादलों से प्रेरित होकर, रेलवे प्लेटफार्म के अकेलेपन में, मेरे चक्षुओं से दो आंसू छलक पड़े। मैं चेन्नई की ओर अग्रसर था और रास्ते में एक लेडी टार्ज़न से मुलाकात भी हुई!

अगले कुछ दिन बड़ी तेज़ी से बीत गए और में औरंगाबाद में कदम रखा। यह एक धूल भरा शहर है, परन्तु यहाँ के लोगों के ह्रदय विशाल हैं।  सचिन देखमुख ने मुझे एक रहने का स्थान ढूंढ़ने में मदद कि, और श्री प्रह्लाद पवार जी ने अपने घर को मुझे किराए पर दिया।

इस वर्ष मैंने दो कोर्स पढ़ाये। जैव विज्ञान के छात्रों को गणित पढ़ाना शायद कठिन था। मैंने अच्छा पढ़ाया या नहीं, यह तो परिणाम आने के पश्चात ही पता चलेगा!

वर्ष २०१३ के अंत में एक दुर्दान्त विचार मेरे मन में कौंधा।  यह कि हम कहते हैं कि हम स्वतंत्र है, पर अधिकतर भारतीयों के लिए स्वतंत्रता छद्मवेश में परतंत्रता का ही नाम है, चाहे वो सोच, विचार, निद्रा, क्षुधा, प्रेम, अनुराग कुछ भी हो। इसीलिए स्वतंत्रता एक विस्मयादिबोधक चिन्ह के साथ नहीं वरन एक प्रश्नवाचक चिन्ह के साथ हमारे मन में उत्पन्न होता है।

वेद कहते हैं "तमसो मां ज्योतिर्गमय" । इसी प्रेरणा के साथ कि आप इस छद्मवेशी परतंत्रता को वास्तविक स्वतंत्रता में रुपान्वित कर सकें और प्रश्नवाचक चिन्ह को विस्मयद्बोधक चिन्ह में बदल सकें, मैं आपको नव वर्ष कि शुभकामनायें देता हूँ।  

Virginity, Dignity, Opportunity and Publicity

The year before last, I saw a caption on a T-shirt, “Virginity is not dignity, but a lack of opportunity”. Last week, in the Kanpur Times supplement of The Times of India, a Bhojpuri artist has proudly remarked – “I have had many conquests”, referring to the relationships with the women in his life. The use of the word “conquest” was, in my opinion, in bad taste and therefore in this article, I present a chauvinistic male’s perspective on the issue.

I have been a voracious user of the internet and its various utilities including chat, email, voice and video conferencing. One of my hobbies is to observe people deeply and to classify various people into many categories. The list of categories of people has been increasing by leaps and bounds over the last 10 years, since I started interacting with people of the world outside my home. My initial registration on the internet initially was on the Microsoft Chat client on Windows 95, which allowed me to connect to a host of chat servers on the world. Initially, my registration as a male user evoked a poor response. People would rarely respond to this poor boy who found 10 minutes of time to sneak into the room with an internet connection and establish a link with the chat servers. I thus bumped into an idea of registering myself as a female. Females have been generally accused of having a poor sense of humour. I, however, could not resist showing off mine. As a result there were a large number of people sending private messages and asking for my telephone number. I gave it to them … of course a fake one.

I subsequently registered myself as a user of Yahoo! Mail. Surprisingly enough, my profile got registered as a female and I was surprised by a large number of males asking me to cyber with them while I was in the Yahoo! Chat rooms. I was not pretty sure what cybering meant that time and therefore said yes to one of them. The next 10 minutes were really unforgettable. He started doing all kinds of things to me … virtually of course! I had to finally say that I was a simple male with no such intentions.

The exuberance and curiosity of youth soon got the better of me, and I found myself chatting with “girls” (Considering the fact that I had previously posed as a female, the alleged girls could well have been males) on all sorts of topics. Some girls refused to comment, some agreed and some said I was too curious. Interestingly enough, people who said I was too curious belonged mostly to the western countries. The confirmation to my previous sentence can be found in American Pie – Part I wherein the story revolves around a group of teenage students desperately making attempts to get sexually involved before their prom. Today, in 2007, Indian girls have also started giving a similar response (cf. Priyanka Chopra’s interview on the Sunday supplement of the Times of India a few months ago).

In real life, I have encountered some girls who had openly talked about their status (in the context of lost virginity) with unabashed abandon to anybody and everybody. On deeper research, it was found that they were speaking the truth indeed but were under the treatment of a psychologist or suffered from personality related disorders; owing to the fact that their families had problems and that they felt rather ignored in their childhood. In this connection, I would also like to mention the name of Tara (name changed) who was ready to get involved with a middle aged man 15 years her senior and a friend of her father, for her father had nearly beaten-up her ex-boyfriend. On deeper questioning she said that her parents were rarely at home and they were rarely able to talk or dine together.

Talking of males of today, and especially the Bhojpuri singer whom I quoted in the first paragraph, represent a case of distorted mentality and pseudo-socialistic attitude. If the same thing happens to a member of their own family, they would even go to the extent of gang-rape of a female family member, murder or other heinous crimes, the examples of which can be found in abundance in some of the states in India. It is often found that people who become famous without much of effort cannot handle the fame with ease and either resort to sexual exploits, booze or drugs (the examples from the west include George Michael, Michael Jackson, Robby Williams, Dieogo Maradona, Mike Tyson, Mel Gibson et al.) Similar examples could easily be found in the Indian community although I would restrain myself from naming them.

However, let us come down to the common man: a closer example from an ex-resident in one of the halls in this institute. One fine morning, boasting around in the corridor with a loud voice about his transition. A closer study and observation on this friend of ours lead to the fact that he was craving for attention, and was being vociferous to let yours truly know about it, for he rarely talked to him. When I was working in a university, I had two female assistants as data entry operators, and I was questioned daily as to whom I was able to entice. A female friend of mine regularly faces queries regarding her male guests from her colleagues family living 30 -40 meters away from her home in her neighbourhood. If the reply is not satisfactory, the colleague is instrumental enough people cook up stories about her in the office premises. The colleague makes such efforts as my female friend turned away his advances once upon a time.

The typical Indian female, as I have observed, is generally expected to be shy, homely, fair, and intelligent and not have fantasies when on the other hand the typical Indian male spends precious time pleasing himself to the western graphic depictions of indulgent and exaggerated behaviour available for purchase/rent at many CD shops. The presence of a similar content, if traced at an IP which belongs to the female counterparts becomes the story of the day, the week or perhaps even months. Contemplation also begins as to how the fort maybe captured, whereas in real life, the person does not even have the courage to go ahead and talk.

We are walking in the midst of a conceptual change. The American thought process is getting into our blood which is the cause of more mentally imbalanced children. Single parenting, troubled marriages, divorces which start from the mere ego clashes of the proud male and the supposedly intelligent female, come down to the children who find solace in the arms of drugs and paedophiles. Lured into sexual relationships, these children can do nothing else but feel proud and boast about their lost virginity. It reminds me of the famous story of the fox, who lost his tail and then inspired others to cut their tails off.

Readers! Your status of virginity or your girlfriend is not my business. Keep it to yourself, be happy and let me be not so frustrated!