An open letter to Lord Voldemort

Dear Lord Voldemort,

You may fail to recall this incident, but I do not. In fact, I cherish it with a sprinkle of pepper and salt everyday. Your lame attempts to teach arithmetic to your kid, and his replying that 1 and 1 make 11 still brings a lot of amusement to my peers and colleagues.

You may wonder why I chose to call you Voldemort. Don't! Because, believe it or not, your demeanour and spirit lie akin to the Dark Lord in J. K. Rowling's creation of the Harry Potter series of books. You consider disagreement as a personal threat, and your habit of throwing the weight where it isn't even necessary is a sharp indicator in that direction. Pardon me, if I call you a Bolshevik as well.

I do not know why, but it seems to me that you breathe and live under the belief that the world needs a messiah or a saviour, all the time. Did you misinterpret the following message from the Bhagavad Geeta? Did you see yourself as a mighty saviour yielding the Sudarshan Chakra?

यदा यदा हि धर्मस्य ग्लानिर्भवति भारत ।
अभ्युत्थानमधर्मस्य तदात्मानं सृजाम्यहम् ||
परित्राणाय साधूनां विनाशाय च दुष्कृताम् ।
धर्मसंस्थापनार्थाय सम्भवामि युगे युगे||

"Mujhe change chaahiye!" is and has been your motto! Yes, change is good, if for the better. But, still better is improvement! Improvement comes from knowing a system, by understanding what might have gone through the minds of the people while they framed the "holy constitution", rather than sheer, abrupt and unprepared change. What was riding on your mind? Satan? Couldn't you understand, that changing a "system" or an ecology might alleviate the problems, but would bring in a new set of issues that you might be hitherto unaware of? If you know what the problems were, couldn't you lead the people to trust the system and improvise it? But no, your evil ego overcame the sheer common sense that one might expect from a person of your stature.

It is amazing that you trusted a set of people who first preached on your behalf that you were a messiah, a leader of fresh change. The same set of people used your name, and threatened various units in the campus. The same set of people were found abusing you and kicking walls and windows in the campus. I named them the "Smart Munnas", but if I were to use a Harry Potter simile, they were the "death eaters", with no life / opinion of their own, but feeding on the ideas and happinesses of other people.

There were also a small set of people who wanted the people to benefit. Call them the Mensheviks if you will, but they were ready to cooperate for the sake of the system, with YOU. But you saw them as a threat.

You lay your belief on them, who would merely seem to ejaculate on your "holy" command. You never stayed inside the endroit and you think you knew all the people? You didn't. But instead you wanted to threaten all the people who wanted to help and improvise.

People asked mysterious questions during the various gatherings, didn't they? You think, we didn't understand? You were wrong! You lay your belief on those, who favoured you at one time, but forged signatures to vote against you. You think, we didn't know? You were wrong! Each and every time, the advice from a small group of us was to avoid clashing against the big rock. But, they didn't understand. Did you, consider our position?

You threw away the most hardworking guy away from the endroit, the one who used to work 12 hours a day, without seeking any extra remuneration? Our only understanding was that you were overcome by your Satanic ego, to prove that you were the boss and trying to "save" the endroit. The hardworking guy, went away and so did the practices of systematic working. Total disarray was visible.

You never, reconsidered your decision did you? Perhaps, you would, when you grow old and feeble, Voldie.

Our only hope was that you left your ego, and saw reason.

Sincerely and yours truly.

Goodbyes and Hellos - 2013

My year began with a goodbye to my Hall of Residence Four at IIT Kanpur. I had stayed there for eight long years and more. I definitely had my share of learnings, in  terms of building a progressive society, motivating people and more. I made good friends too, from the very famous Tony Jacob to the very humble Vivek Mehta. It has been a privilege knowing them. I might have left the Hall, but its memories remain etched in my mind. 

My supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani insisted that I take the opportunity to deliver an invited lecture at Dr. Babasaheb Marathwada University Aurangabad. The visit to Aurangabad was a lesson in how humble beginnings might lead to great achievements. Dr. Suresh Mehrotra's amazingly inspirational way of motivating people left me astounded. At the same time, meeting Dr. Pravin Yannawar, Dr. Ramesh Manza and Dr. Bharti Gawali Rokade were indicators that I should put in more efforts in my research work and publications. 

MGM's Jawaharlal Nehru Engineering College, Aurangabad

My visit to Aurangabad and a probing question by Dr. Suresh Mehrotra - "If all good people went to `good' places, who will come to the place which are not `good'?" motivated me to start a conversation with a college of Aurangabad. I came for a visit to Jawaharlal Nehru Engineering College and was floored by the welcoming nature of the Principal Dr. Sudhir Deshmukh, his motivated talks and willingness to develop the college further into an institute of national repute. My meetings with Dr. Sanjay Harke, Dr. Ravindra Deshmukh and Dr. Abhay Kulkarni were enlightening. I was especially impressed by the infrastructure developed by MGM - IBT, where Dr. Sanjay Harke is the Director.

With Shitla Tripathi ji

With Ram Kewal Maurya ji

I finally had a chance to take a degree at the convocation, the previous one's being either mailed to my place of residence, or being brought in by a third person. Instead of partying around, I chose to spend time with Shitla Prasad Tripathi ji and Ram Kewal Maurya ji. If I have gained a lot from my fellow research workers, I have also learnt a lot from Tripathi ji and Maurya ji. For each and every technical problem of mine. They were a great help.


Remember Narayan dada, the one about whom I talked about in my blog last year? I saw him frail and shaking. When I saw him, he got down from the cycle, and told me that he was diagnosed with a cancerous growth in his throat. It was surprising that all through his trauma, he had been looking for me for support, and people had been telling him that I had left the campus. I talked about his condition to the residents of Hall Four and most of them went to see him. Some even called him from outside the campus.

A scene at the CC Canteen @ IITK

The month of August began with a goodbye, with me bidding adieu to the city I spent nine precious years in, Kanpur. There were small meetings with Prof. Onkar Dikshit, the person who supported me a lot, morally and financially, and my thesis supervisor Dr. Bharat Lohani. Dr. Nandini Nilakantan also invited me for a luncheon at the Campus Restaurant. 

Arun Nishad, your help for packing up my things was one of the greatest helps that I would remember. On the day of bidding goodbye to the campus, it was raining, and I, perhaps inspired by the clouds, shed a tear or two, in the moments of loneliness that I found on the railway platform. I was en route to Chennai then, and met a lady Tarzan during the journey! 

The next few days went away like a breeze, and I entered Aurangabad. A small and dusty city yet to learn the values of maintenance and cleanliness, but yet consisted of people with big hearts. Sachin Deshmukh helped me to find a place of stay, and Prahlad Pawar ji was kind enough to rent me the place. 

I taught two courses this year. Teaching mathematics to the students with no mathematical background was one of the challenges that I took. The results would say if I was successful, which are yet to come as I write this document. 

The end of year enlightened me with an emergent thought. The expression of "Independence" is expected to arrive with a feeling of an exclamation mark, but instead in many of us, it exists with a question mark in terms of daily life - common feelings like hunger, love, sadness, sleep, thought are well affected by this question mark.

With a desire that you are able to convert this question mark into an exclamation in the coming days, I wish you a very happy new year.

हिंदी रूपांतर 

भारतीय प्रौद्योगिकी संस्थान के चतुर्थ छात्रावास को अलविदा कहने से मेरा यह वर्ष शुरू हुआ।  अनेकों झगड़े, रात भर का जागना और दोस्ती इन्ही सब की यादें समेटकर मैंने हॉल ४ को अलविदा कहा। हॉल ४ में रहने के दौरान अनेकों से मेरा परिचय हुआ जैसे विख्यात टोनी जेकब और विनयशील विवेक मेहता।  हॉल ४ से मैंने कई चीज़ें सीखीं और आशा है कि इन सीखों को मैं अपने जीवन में उतार पाऊंगा।

मेरे पी एच डी के मार्गदर्शक डॉ भारत लोहनी ने मुझे डॉ बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर विद्यापीठ में जाकर व्याख्यान देने के लिए प्रेरित किया। यहाँ मैं प्रो सुरेश मेहरोत्रा से मिला। डॉ प्रवीण यन्नावर, डॉ रमेश मंझा और डॉ भारती रोकड़े से मिलकर ऐसा लगा कि मुझे अपने शोध कार्य में और अधिक मेहनत करनी चाहिए।

इस व्याख्यान के वजह से मेरी बातचीत औरंगाबाद के एक महाविद्यालय से होने लगी। डॉ सुरेश मेहरोत्रा ने पूछा कि " यदि हर अच्छा व्यक्ति "अच्छी" जगह पर जाए, तो हमारे यहाँ कौन आएगा?" अतः मैं पुनः औरंगाबाद आया। यहाँ, जवाहरलाल नेहरू इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज के प्रधानाचार्य डॉ सुधीर देशमुख से मिलकर बहुत अच्छा लगा।  वे इस महाविद्यालय को राष्ट्रीय स्तर के प्रसिद्ध शिक्षण संस्थानों कि गिनती में लाना चाहते थे।  इसके अतिरिक्त मैंने डॉ संजय हर्के, डॉ रविन्द्र देशमुख एवं डॉ अभय कुलकर्णी से भी मुलाकात कि।  जैवविज्ञानं और प्रौद्योगिकी संस्थान के आधुनिक प्रयोगशालाएं और कम्प्यूटेशनल शक्ति देखकर मैं दंग रह गया।  अतः मैंने जवाहरलाल नेहरू इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज कि ठानी।

आखिर वो वेला आ ही गयी जब मैंने किसी दीक्षांत समारोह में भाग लिया।  इससे पूर्व मेरे समस्त उपाधियों को में व्ययक्तिक तौर पर ले नहीं पाया था।  समारोह के उपरांत जहां लोग होटलों में जाकर खाना खाने कि योजना बना रहे थे, में शीतला प्रसाद त्रिपाठी जी और राम केवल मौर्या जी के साथ फ़ोटो खिचवा रहा था।

आपको नारायण दादा के बारे में याद है? उनके बारे में पिछले वर्ष मैंने लिखा था।  उनको मैंने बहुत कमज़ोर और शिथिल रूप में देखा। पूछने पर पता चला कि उन्हें वैद्य ने बताया है कि उन्हें कर्क रोग है।  उनका एक बार शल्य चिकित्सा हो चुका था।  उन्होंने बताया कि वे मेरे बारे में पूछते रहे और लोग उनको बताते रहे कि मैं आई आई टी परिसर छोड़कर चला गया हूँ।  मेरे पूर्व छात्रावास के लोगो को बताने पर कई उनसे परिसर के हेल्थ सेंटर में मिलने गए और उन्हें ढांढस बधाई।

अगस्त का महीना मेरे लिए कठिन रहा। जिस परिसर में मैंने ९ वर्ष बिताये उसे विदा कहने का समय आ गया था।  विदा लेने से पूर्व, प्रोफेसर ओंकार दीक्षित, जिन्होंने मुझे कई बार धैर्य बंधाई और आर्थिक सहायता भी दी, के आशीष वचन प्राप्त करने आवश्यक थे।  इसी के साथ मेरे पी एच डी के मार्गदर्शक डॉ भारत लोहनी से भी मार्गदर्शन प्राप्त किये।  डॉ नन्दिनी नीलकंठन ने भी मुझे मध्यान्ह भोज के लिए आमंत्रित किया।

श्री अरुण निषाद ने मेरे सामान को समेटने में जितनी मदद की उसकी प्रशंशा करने के लिए मेरे पास शब्द कम हैं।  आई आई टी परिसर को विदा कहने के दिन वर्षा हो रही थी, और सम्भवतः बादलों से प्रेरित होकर, रेलवे प्लेटफार्म के अकेलेपन में, मेरे चक्षुओं से दो आंसू छलक पड़े। मैं चेन्नई की ओर अग्रसर था और रास्ते में एक लेडी टार्ज़न से मुलाकात भी हुई!

अगले कुछ दिन बड़ी तेज़ी से बीत गए और में औरंगाबाद में कदम रखा। यह एक धूल भरा शहर है, परन्तु यहाँ के लोगों के ह्रदय विशाल हैं।  सचिन देखमुख ने मुझे एक रहने का स्थान ढूंढ़ने में मदद कि, और श्री प्रह्लाद पवार जी ने अपने घर को मुझे किराए पर दिया।

इस वर्ष मैंने दो कोर्स पढ़ाये। जैव विज्ञान के छात्रों को गणित पढ़ाना शायद कठिन था। मैंने अच्छा पढ़ाया या नहीं, यह तो परिणाम आने के पश्चात ही पता चलेगा!

वर्ष २०१३ के अंत में एक दुर्दान्त विचार मेरे मन में कौंधा।  यह कि हम कहते हैं कि हम स्वतंत्र है, पर अधिकतर भारतीयों के लिए स्वतंत्रता छद्मवेश में परतंत्रता का ही नाम है, चाहे वो सोच, विचार, निद्रा, क्षुधा, प्रेम, अनुराग कुछ भी हो। इसीलिए स्वतंत्रता एक विस्मयादिबोधक चिन्ह के साथ नहीं वरन एक प्रश्नवाचक चिन्ह के साथ हमारे मन में उत्पन्न होता है।

वेद कहते हैं "तमसो मां ज्योतिर्गमय" । इसी प्रेरणा के साथ कि आप इस छद्मवेशी परतंत्रता को वास्तविक स्वतंत्रता में रुपान्वित कर सकें और प्रश्नवाचक चिन्ह को विस्मयद्बोधक चिन्ह में बदल सकें, मैं आपको नव वर्ष कि शुभकामनायें देता हूँ।  

Milestones 2012

Last year, it was all about silence. This year, I would be talking about milestones. Milestones that have left indelible impressions on my mind.

This year, the months of June and December would be known as the milestone months for me. The fruit of eight years came out in the form of a 166 page document with a fair amount of pictures and YouTube videos. A presentation version of this document was screened in December thus receiving generally positive comments. This fruit took too long to ripen and yet, on the last day of this year, my mother called up and asked me if I was well. The contents of the conversation were sufficient to tell me that she was still proud of me. On the day of the presentation and after, I missed my father again and again, because he appears in my dreams every now and then, perhaps to wish me well and convey good luck for my studies and life in general. I would also take this opportunity to thank Professor Onkar Dikshit and Dr. Nandini Nilakantan who took most of my worries away by listening to me when I had to crib! Dr. Bharat Lohani, thank you for all you have done for me.

My friend Nilanjana had a baby boy this year. She named him “Rig” after the Rig Veda (oldest book on Hindu scriptures). Sarika, a common good friend, whom I met at Delhi (after 10 years) during a conference, perhaps appeared more excited about describing the baby than the mother herself.

Constructive criticism and politics for the welfare of the junta totally went missing from the Hall 4. The person, who had sacrificed 40 years of his family life for serving Hall 4 was shown the door. The demeanour meted out to him by the Chieftain of the ship was demeaning, hurtful and in bad taste. Shri S. N. Pradhan, lovingly known as Narayan dada, had to leave the Hall premises in “10 minutes” with tearful eyes. He was shifted by the administration to Hall 9. I am told that within a span of two months of his departure from Hall 4, the Dean of Students' Affairs of IIT Kanpur, met him personally and congratulated him for establishing a good accounting and recording system in Hall 9. This was also the first time when, an aspiring politician of Hall 4 remarked, “Sir, you are very idealistic. If you move away from your ideals, you could achieve a lot!” I thank the Almighty, if he exists, for giving me parents and teachers who taught me to stand my ground in the most adverse of circumstances.

The Bhagavad Gita inspires us to be bold and believe in actions without craving for the result to “benefit” the self. It is in the “Karma” we should believe in and there is where the excitement lies. I was never a great fan of new year resolutions. Sometimes we avoid things, thinking of the consequences. The teachings of the Bhagavad Gita have inspired me to change this characteristic. The Bhagavad Gita also teaches us about “skins” the soul wears from one life to another. One could easily extend this logic to memories from one phase to another. Memories should be let gone, for good, for shifting from one phase to another.

On that note, as I gear up for the life forward from this point, I wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year.